Check out my gratitude lists!

(Almost) every evening I list the things I'm grateful for in a little book. I started in 2010 after reading a Wall Street Journal article about the benefits of counting your blessings. It reports:

Adults who frequently feel grateful have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not, according to studies conducted over the past decade. They're also less likely to be depressed, envious, greedy or alcoholics. They earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections.

Thank you to whoever left this newspaper on the Q train! <3

Since I'm having a little trouble posting in this blog everyday I figured I should share photos of my lists. This way I'll at least have one post a day and you can get an idea of what's going on in the world of Olivia. It's a task I can do from my bed on my iPhone with the Blogger App! Thanks Blogger! 

Here are my lists from April (via public Facebook album). Please let me know if this link doesn't work for you.

Let me know your thoughts on keeping a gratitude journal. I would absolutely love to see your gratitude lists too! Maybe leave a list in the comments.

Mom: Please ignore any mention of my sex life. It's just a joke cause I'm funny like that.

Learning to TCB with a little self TLC

How often do you work through your lunch break? Do you sometimes turn down invitations to dinner with friends so that you can squeeze in an appointment with one more client? How many times have you used your workload as an excuse for not taking sick days or for skipping trips to the gym, the gyno, or even the bathroom?

I've been guilty of all the above transgressions more times that I'd like to admit, but it wasn't always like that. Back when I worked for "The Man", I was that person who dared to disappear from my desk at 1pm for a full hour-long lunch in the park and sung goodnight to everyone by 6pm so I could get home for dinner or meet friends for drinks. I also took ample breaks throughout the day to pee, snack, and dance at my desk whenever exceptionally awesome songs came up on my playlist. I wasn't a slacker. I just believed life should be fun and that work should be a fun part of life. The term self-care wasn't yet part of my vocabulary, but I knew intrinsically if I wasn't happy and healthy it would be harder for me to perform well.

Everything changed a year and a half ago when I started a residential green cleaning business. As a solo entrepreneur, I suddenly found myself working 16 hour days, usually without break. Responding to phone and email inquiries, booking appointments, marketing on social media, maintaining my website, cleaning apartments, posting flyers, laundering cloths and work clothes, diluting cleaning solutions, studying for my business management course, and researching cleaning techniques were all my responsibility, every day. It wasn't as terrible as it may sound because I am passionate about green cleaning and loved every aspect of running my business. The problem was that work was the only aspect of my life getting much love. I tried to squeeze work into every waking second of my day and often it crept into my dreams. This left little time for me to attend to my other needs.

I knew things were really bad when I realized at 8:30pm, during the 40 minute walk home from my second cleaning job of the day, that I hadn't consumed anything besides a muffin and a coffee-- not even water! I also did not find the time to poop. When I got home I quickly scarfed down a cold packaged sandwich and lots of ice cream while watching Survivor alone. I then got into a fight with my boyfriend over something stupid.

Alas, the Universe's most glorious gift to us is synchronicity! The following morning I received a video via email from superstar lady-parts holistic health counselor Alisa Vitti of FLO Living. Alisa explained how low blood sugar (ie skipping meals) disrupts our endocrine system and in turn negatively affects our mood, energy level, periods, fertility, and libido.

Cue the A Ha moment! I realized if I wanted to preserve my health, to save my sanity and my relationship, and allow my business to flourish, I was going to have to make self care a priority again.

In the two months since I first viewed the video, it's taking a bit of adjustment for me to learn self care in the context of being a small business owner and the live-in girlfriend of a self-employed programmer who also works long hours. I started with tiny, gradual steps like taking a daily vitamin, eating breakfast before work, wearing more comfortable shoes, and scheduling regular dinners with girlfriends. I've built upon those successes by cutting back on caffeine, alcohol, and fried foods, returning to the habit of journaling each morning and writing a gratitude list each evening, and completing a brand new beginners yoga course. I even enrolled in a local goddess circle for support.

Most recently, I signed up for The Daily Unwind program. Each day, my friend Kate emails me video and audio instructions for a three minute relaxation exercise grounded in yoga or meditation that I can do "anywhere, any time." I am embarrassed by how often I still try to weasel out of doing these simple exercises, but I am encouraged by how much better I feel once I actually do them. My muscles become limber. I get renewed physical energy, sort of like waking up from a nap. My creativity ignites.

I look forward to the day that I become one of those fabulous business women, like Alisa and Kate, for whom self care is as natural as breathing. Until then, I'm doing the oh-so-fun work of learning from their example.

Sisters, do you prioritize self care? What is, or was, your greatest obstacle to taking time for yourself? Have you overcome it? If so, how? Do you have a kick-ass self care habit or ritual that you'd like to share? Please leave a comment. <3

Also, did you watch Alisa's video? Seriously, you need to!  If you enjoyed that video and want to see more like it (plus receive 2 free gifts!!) sign up here and have more videos filled with life-changing, goddess-loving info from FLO Living delivered right to your inbox! 

This blog post is part of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" founded by Mishel Herrera, Entrepreneur Empress. 

(Sending hugs to Jenn at Roots of She, who inspired this blog post with her recent blog post: Demystifying self-care: 34 ways to begin your self-care practice. Check out her website for lots of great self-care tools!) 

Dance Like No One's Watching

On Sunday, I participated in a women-only session of JourneyDance at Pure Yoga West. JourneyDance is an experience where an instructor gently guides a group in dance and play that celebrates our unique bodies, creativity, power, and desires.

Unlike many dance classes where the instructor scrutinizes your every gesture and insists on you doing it her way, there is only love at JourneyDance. Everyone is encouraged to enjoy the music and move in a way that feels good to her own body. "Dance like no one's watching," Toni Bergins, the instructor and founder of JourneyDance said. How about that?! 



I left class feeling free and ready to unleash my powerful brand of awesomeness onto the world. I am encouraged by Toni's words. How will I dance like no one's watching in the world outside the yoga studio? Lately, I am working on overcoming my fear of failure as a writer by writing and actually putting it places that people will read it. Yikes and yippee!

How will you dance like no one is watching this week?

This blog post is part of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" founded by Mishel Herrera, Entrepreneur Empress.

That Little Voice Inside Your Head

"Bluetooth or Bonkers" is an urban street game I invented a few summers ago. It's easy to play alone or with friends. You just spy someone standing or sitting alone and talking in the distance. You then try to guess whether the person is speaking to someone on their cellphone via a headpiece or conversing with the voices inside their head. The best thing about this game is how many times I've reached a fairly "normal looking" pedestrian and been surprised to discover he or she is not sporting a headset.

The little voice inside your head isn't just for wackos anymore! We all have some internal dialogue swimming about our brains for most of the day. Personally, I'm usually engaged in some trivial decision-making process like whether to have coffee out or save a couple bucks and brew my own at home or wondering which socks to wear.

Sadly, the internal monologue can often be abusive or negative in other ways. "You could stand to loose a few EL-BEEs" is something I hear from myself a lot, even though I've weighed less than 125 lbs for most of my adult life. "You're not that smart" is another buzz phrase that pops up every now and then, despite the fact that I am actually a genius! These thoughts give me the hee-bee-gee-bees. They not only make me feel awful but they feel wrong. Not to get all Abraham Hicks on you, but my theory is it's because these negative thoughts are out of alignment with my truth, the truth that I am perfect-- perfectly me-- just the way I am.

The kind of internal dialogue that feels good is your truth and it's delivered to you via your intuition. Merriam-Webster defines intuition as "the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference." I've heard intuition described as wisdom given to us by our ancestors, which I think is pretty sweet too. These are the voices inside our heads that can guide us to happiness and well-being.

Have you ever had a sudden thought that made you smile or even laugh out loud, even though you were just putting groceries away or engaged in another equally mundane task? Have you ever looked in the mirror in the morning and thought "You are so cute!" and really felt it down to your bones, although you hadn't even yet touched your hair or showered. That's your intuition nudging you toward having fun and acknowledging your natural beauty!

I recently attended a workshop called Modern Femme~Sensual Prosperity in the hopes of working out a game plan to get physically healthier and to reach my writing goals. Life and wellness coach Tazima Ayana Davis introduced me to the seven chakras. She then led me through an exercise to summon each of them and ask every individual chakra for guidance on how to attend to it's needs and thus bring prosperity to my life. Her theory is we all already know how to heal ourselves and how to live our best lives. That information is inside of us.We just need to work to remember it.

The result of the exercise was thrilling. I've been feeling really picky about foods and bored in general with most of the things I eat lately. I discovered that my sacral chakra, an orange named Bobbi, wants to eat more yummy foods. This was not surprising, especially since the sacral chakra is all about pleasure. I was, however, surprised by her suggestion to select foods based on what attracts me, rather than following my shopping list or cooking from a recipe. I was afraid this would cause a serious riff in my family as my boyfriend does most of the cooking and requires a recipe. Also, I love lists and can't imagine shopping without one. *Chaos!* Still, I tried it a few times when eating out and those times I enjoyed tremendously all the foods I ate. I'm pretty sure I ended up eating healthier as a result too. Hurray for chakras!

Bobbi told me to eat the Si Se Puede salad at Angelica Kitchen for lunch.

Being open to receive and follow divine guidance is a big part of living as a goddess. I'd like to invite you to listen to intuition this week. Even if you don't know about chakras, you can still do this. Keep your ears and heart open to thoughts and ideas that feel right. Feed those thoughts. Ask them what else you can do to bring yourself more fulfillment and pleasure. That's not bonkers. That's so goddess!

Here is a prayer Mishel shared with us during La Dea Vita :: Goddess Gathering, to get you started:

"May I heal my spiritual body. I ask for my eyes, ears, and heart to be open to receive healing and guidance. May I learn to listen to my intuition, my higher self, which always knows exactly what I need to do to move closer to my true self."

Has a little voice inside your head ever led to you to make any wonderfully pleasurable choices, large or small? Please share your experiences in the comments! 

This blog post is part of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" founded by Mishel Herrera, Entrepreneur Empress.

Community: The Best Thing About Being a Goddess.

Yesterday, I interviewed my La Dea Vita Goddess Gathering sisters to ask them what is their favorite thing about being a goddess. Almost everyone answered "community." I wasn't surprised. Having a group of girlfriends I can trust to listen, to encourage, and to literally be there for me at least once a week is huge. Their support has given me the courage to do all kinds of things I've been slacking on, especially in the self-care and creative areas of my life.

Me, interviewing Goddess Karli

The goddesses in La Dea Vita were fierce when our group first met a month ago, but we are fire now! Three goddesses are building an exciting business together. Another goddess is balancing being both pregnant and managing her bustling botanical solutions business which exploded as an internet sensation a few weeks ago. Another goddess has an exciting and thought-provoking burlesque show opening next weekend. One goddess got fired from her toxic day job, now her photography career is blowing up. I'm pursuing my dream of becoming a writer. So much awesomeness!

All this magic is happening because we've chosen to support one another as a community. We've made it a priority to commit three hours of the week to put our intentions in the improvement of our own lives and those of our girlfriends. I'm not claiming the amazing women in my group would not have been able to accomplish these things independently, but I am saying it's more fun and magical this way. And why not do things the fun and magical way?

I've been sharing a list of things I am grateful for each day with the group on our Facebook page and each day at least two women click "like." It's been so pleasurable for me know that not only is someone reading my list, but that my girlfriends are sharing my happiness. I can feel the energy of their happiness commanding even more things to be grateful for to come my way and I feel my heart opening up to accept it.

I tell this story to illustrate that creating community doesn't have to be a huge time or resource demanding thing. It's just requires the commitment to be fully yourself, to share your gifts and happiness, and to literally show up as a voice of encouragement and cheer for others. That's so goddess!

What do you do to create community with your girlfriends? How has (or how hasn't) being part of a goddess circle or other women's-only community, formal or informal, improved your life or the life of your friends? Pretty please, leave a comment! <3

This blog post is the first of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" organized by revolutionary women's athletic wear designer, Mishel Herrera.