Alas, the Livers Digest is back...
Monday, October 29I stayed in my apartment and sulked, like any self-respecting, underemployed recluse would do on a startlingly chilly day. I did all the stuff you're supposed to do when you don't want to do anything:
- I woke up late.
- I skipped my shower.
- I neglected to brush my teeth.
- I refused to change my underpants. (Double Gold Star recluse move!)
- I ate only 2 meals, both consisting of leftovers from work. No snacks.
- I watched tv talk shows and home/beauty/lifestyle improvement shows for hours.
- I shirked my own responsibilites toward to home/beauty/ lifestyle.
- I got bored enough to wish I could evaporate.
- I broke down at 5PM and accepted a temp assignment for later in the week. (Negative points.)
Tuesday, October 30I did all the things on my underemployed recluse checklist. Except just before 3PM, I realised I needed to get going on making cupcakes for the
Farm Sanctuary Halloween Bash. I did a quick search on VegWeb and decided to make these
darling, yummy Zombie cupcakes, but I didn't have the jam I needed. So I had to do something I hate doing: Go outside and walk on a major thoroughfare when kids are getting out of school. Don't get me wrong, Liv loves the kids, but kids can be evil especially when they are: a) teenaged, b) in large groups, and c) unshackled by adult supervision. Around 3PM is a great time to find youth in this combination. Yikes! Of course, in recent years no neighborhood kid has ever done anything to make me have such distaste for the being in their company, but the trauma of my personal experiences with harassment by my peers as a pre-teen and teen. I'm still in recovery, so I'm allowed to be a biggot, dammit! Well anyway, I made it to the supermarket and back home unscathed. This time.
Like my 3PM jaunt through the 'hood, my Zombie cupcakes were surprisingly successful. I baked quite often, but this was my first voyage into The Land of Holiday themed sweets. I did alright!
When Jess came hone from work, I prepared to leave the apartment. I got dressed up in my Marylyn Bun-Roe costume, which featured a clean pair of underpants, thus destroying all the anti-street cred I had been cultivating (pardon the pun) during the previous 48 hours.
Jessica and I had a good time at the Farm Sanctuary party. It was, like, a REAL party! In a club! With velvet rope! And booze! And saucy dancing! And JD Samson from Le Tigre was the DJ! Fucking awesome! It totally raised the bar for AR parties. There were lots of people there--including a few people I didn't know!
My only complaint about the party was that there wasn't much savory food. I seriously had a headache for a whole 24 hours due to the amount of sugar I ate at that party. Okay,
maybe the lines of cocaine I did in the bathroom had something to do with it too. JK! It was totally the sugar.
Wednesday, October 31: Halloween! I temped as the receptionist at Lavazza Premium Coffees. I feel like all roads lead back to Lavazza. I love those crazy I-talians and they love me!
Another good thing about being at Lavazza is that the office is right across the street from
Franchia. I love Franchia. It's owned by the same folks who own
Hangwai. I don't love Hangwai, though I haven't been there since the first time ate there 3 years ago, when Jessica and I celebrated the anniversary of our first date and both agreed it sucked. Anyways, sometimes people confuse Hangwai for Franchia because they're both Korean and racist people can't tell Asians apart. Sometimes that person is a half awake receptionist who places and order for pick-up via phone. Sometimes people don't realize they placed an order at the wrong restaurant until fate spares them one shred of dignity, even if it happens when they are just about to grasp the wrong door knob. Sometimes it's nice to go for a walk during lunch anyways. Sometimes the food isn't as bad as people remember it being.
Jessica and I celebrated Halloween by chasing down kids with candy. No, really. There was no one on our block T-or-Ting, so we decided to walk down the Nostrand and Fulton handing out candy. We also left a bunch of candy at bushbaby, as it seems Bed-Stuy kids are too lazy to walk up and down stoops to collect candy. They prefer to weave in and out of bodegas and other businesses on Fulton Street and Nostrant Avenue instead. One kid who came into bushbaby seriously had breasts--that's how fat he was. Show me a 10 year old dracula with a rack that could get him on
Trick or Treaters Gone Wild and I'll show you someone who does not need any more candy!
Our Fulton Street festivities were cut short by a bunch of teenagers who were recklessly throwing eggs at each other, without regard to the small children and dairy shunning vegans who approached them. Fucking teenagers. Jessica and I had to take the shortcut down Bedford home.
Thursday, November 1: Dia de los Muertos! 1st DP Anniversary!The day started of terribly. I woke up late, despite the fact that I had to be at Lavazza at 9AM. I spent forever trying to figure out what I could wear that could take me from Work Day to Romantic Evening. There was nothing good in our fridge, so I had to pack 2 peanut-butter sandwiches on stale bread for lunch. Yuck! Once I finally made it outside, I noticed that it looked like it would rain so I ran upstairs to get an umbrella. Once I finally made it to the train station, the A train came within a few minutes, but the conductor announced it would be stalled due to a sick passenger on a train ahead of us. I sat and griped for a minute or two before deciding I didn't need to do put myself through this. I just got off the train and left everyone and all the drama behind. It felt so liberating. Fuck the 9-to-5!
I'm glad I intervened because the rest of my day was great! I came home and changed into real clothes. I hung out at
Tiny Cup for a few hours. I surprised Jessica by having a bouquet of flowers delivered to her office. I went to Bargain Hunters and bought tons of stuff for our place. I changed a light bulb and cleaned the bathroom. I made a card for Jessica. I mailed my Mom's crochet hooks. Woo. I was on an errand spree!
I met Jessica at
Counter where we
celebrated the one-year anniversary of our domestic partnership. We shared all the items on their
special Day of the Dead menu, followed by a Farmhouse Walnut-Lentil Panini (which may be the best sandwich of all time). Once we were home Jessica gave me my presents: a collection of poems by wonderpoet
Lucille Clifton (who we saw honored at an event back on '05), an Ani album, and a set of karaoke Love Ballads!!!! We sang karaoke and enjoyed a bottle of ice wine that did not come from Trader Joe's for dessert. It was superromantic. I love Jessica!
Friday, November 2AM shift at
Angelica. Bill, one of my regular juice bar wackos, yells "I said no tape!", even though he is 6 inches from my ear and the soup container that I am taping as courtesy does not belong to him, but rather to one of the other customers in the dozen of people waiting nearby. Cuckoo. Someone told me that he's always so tightly wound becuase he's been working on the same play for 15 years, and that's the only thing he's been doing. Eating at Angelica and working on his play. How dreadful! Serves him right!
The
traveling Mustache art show/ party that Jason is participating in came to Williamsburg. I showed up in sideburns and mustache made of orange acrylic craft fur. I was an instant party celebrity. Several girls wanted to take pictures with me and some guy told me I was "attractive" even after we discussed the possibility that there was a real mustache under the fake one. Where was this art show when I was single?
(
More photos here.)
Saturday, November 3AM shift at Angelica. Today, a fairly regular customer who bears resemblance to Gilbert Godfrey violently pushed a female New-Agey, hippy customer because "[the juice bar] isn't a place to socialize". This is after he called her a piece of shit to which she responded by asking him what he was ordering and suggesting "maybe you should eat a piece of shit." I had to get the floor manager. Later they had me go through the reciepts so we could pin-point the exact time that the guy was in the JB. They are going to go through the video footage so they can get a screen capture of him and have him 86'd like the rotten nut he is. It was so CSI: Miami.
After work, we celebrated my BFF Adia's Birthday with karaoke at the Carriage House in Park Slope. Jessica and I did Rick James' "Super Freak" and Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are". Adia and I did "I Wanna Sex You Up." Fun!
Sunday, November 4Jessica and I had brunch at
bushbaby. God bless that place! We then went to
Bread Stuy for a
craft group meeting, except it wasn't much of a meeting since we were the only ones there. I think folks forgot to change their clocks.
My PM shift at Angelica was boring. Just a lot of work with no payoff. No fights. No inappropriate, juvenile outbursts. All the looney tunes took their meds. Snore.
