Dance Like No One's Watching

On Sunday, I participated in a women-only session of JourneyDance at Pure Yoga West. JourneyDance is an experience where an instructor gently guides a group in dance and play that celebrates our unique bodies, creativity, power, and desires.

Unlike many dance classes where the instructor scrutinizes your every gesture and insists on you doing it her way, there is only love at JourneyDance. Everyone is encouraged to enjoy the music and move in a way that feels good to her own body. "Dance like no one's watching," Toni Bergins, the instructor and founder of JourneyDance said. How about that?! 



I left class feeling free and ready to unleash my powerful brand of awesomeness onto the world. I am encouraged by Toni's words. How will I dance like no one's watching in the world outside the yoga studio? Lately, I am working on overcoming my fear of failure as a writer by writing and actually putting it places that people will read it. Yikes and yippee!

How will you dance like no one is watching this week?

This blog post is part of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" founded by Mishel Herrera, Entrepreneur Empress.

That Little Voice Inside Your Head

"Bluetooth or Bonkers" is an urban street game I invented a few summers ago. It's easy to play alone or with friends. You just spy someone standing or sitting alone and talking in the distance. You then try to guess whether the person is speaking to someone on their cellphone via a headpiece or conversing with the voices inside their head. The best thing about this game is how many times I've reached a fairly "normal looking" pedestrian and been surprised to discover he or she is not sporting a headset.

The little voice inside your head isn't just for wackos anymore! We all have some internal dialogue swimming about our brains for most of the day. Personally, I'm usually engaged in some trivial decision-making process like whether to have coffee out or save a couple bucks and brew my own at home or wondering which socks to wear.

Sadly, the internal monologue can often be abusive or negative in other ways. "You could stand to loose a few EL-BEEs" is something I hear from myself a lot, even though I've weighed less than 125 lbs for most of my adult life. "You're not that smart" is another buzz phrase that pops up every now and then, despite the fact that I am actually a genius! These thoughts give me the hee-bee-gee-bees. They not only make me feel awful but they feel wrong. Not to get all Abraham Hicks on you, but my theory is it's because these negative thoughts are out of alignment with my truth, the truth that I am perfect-- perfectly me-- just the way I am.

The kind of internal dialogue that feels good is your truth and it's delivered to you via your intuition. Merriam-Webster defines intuition as "the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference." I've heard intuition described as wisdom given to us by our ancestors, which I think is pretty sweet too. These are the voices inside our heads that can guide us to happiness and well-being.

Have you ever had a sudden thought that made you smile or even laugh out loud, even though you were just putting groceries away or engaged in another equally mundane task? Have you ever looked in the mirror in the morning and thought "You are so cute!" and really felt it down to your bones, although you hadn't even yet touched your hair or showered. That's your intuition nudging you toward having fun and acknowledging your natural beauty!

I recently attended a workshop called Modern Femme~Sensual Prosperity in the hopes of working out a game plan to get physically healthier and to reach my writing goals. Life and wellness coach Tazima Ayana Davis introduced me to the seven chakras. She then led me through an exercise to summon each of them and ask every individual chakra for guidance on how to attend to it's needs and thus bring prosperity to my life. Her theory is we all already know how to heal ourselves and how to live our best lives. That information is inside of us.We just need to work to remember it.

The result of the exercise was thrilling. I've been feeling really picky about foods and bored in general with most of the things I eat lately. I discovered that my sacral chakra, an orange named Bobbi, wants to eat more yummy foods. This was not surprising, especially since the sacral chakra is all about pleasure. I was, however, surprised by her suggestion to select foods based on what attracts me, rather than following my shopping list or cooking from a recipe. I was afraid this would cause a serious riff in my family as my boyfriend does most of the cooking and requires a recipe. Also, I love lists and can't imagine shopping without one. *Chaos!* Still, I tried it a few times when eating out and those times I enjoyed tremendously all the foods I ate. I'm pretty sure I ended up eating healthier as a result too. Hurray for chakras!

Bobbi told me to eat the Si Se Puede salad at Angelica Kitchen for lunch.

Being open to receive and follow divine guidance is a big part of living as a goddess. I'd like to invite you to listen to intuition this week. Even if you don't know about chakras, you can still do this. Keep your ears and heart open to thoughts and ideas that feel right. Feed those thoughts. Ask them what else you can do to bring yourself more fulfillment and pleasure. That's not bonkers. That's so goddess!

Here is a prayer Mishel shared with us during La Dea Vita :: Goddess Gathering, to get you started:

"May I heal my spiritual body. I ask for my eyes, ears, and heart to be open to receive healing and guidance. May I learn to listen to my intuition, my higher self, which always knows exactly what I need to do to move closer to my true self."

Has a little voice inside your head ever led to you to make any wonderfully pleasurable choices, large or small? Please share your experiences in the comments! 

This blog post is part of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" founded by Mishel Herrera, Entrepreneur Empress.

Community: The Best Thing About Being a Goddess.

Yesterday, I interviewed my La Dea Vita Goddess Gathering sisters to ask them what is their favorite thing about being a goddess. Almost everyone answered "community." I wasn't surprised. Having a group of girlfriends I can trust to listen, to encourage, and to literally be there for me at least once a week is huge. Their support has given me the courage to do all kinds of things I've been slacking on, especially in the self-care and creative areas of my life.

Me, interviewing Goddess Karli

The goddesses in La Dea Vita were fierce when our group first met a month ago, but we are fire now! Three goddesses are building an exciting business together. Another goddess is balancing being both pregnant and managing her bustling botanical solutions business which exploded as an internet sensation a few weeks ago. Another goddess has an exciting and thought-provoking burlesque show opening next weekend. One goddess got fired from her toxic day job, now her photography career is blowing up. I'm pursuing my dream of becoming a writer. So much awesomeness!

All this magic is happening because we've chosen to support one another as a community. We've made it a priority to commit three hours of the week to put our intentions in the improvement of our own lives and those of our girlfriends. I'm not claiming the amazing women in my group would not have been able to accomplish these things independently, but I am saying it's more fun and magical this way. And why not do things the fun and magical way?

I've been sharing a list of things I am grateful for each day with the group on our Facebook page and each day at least two women click "like." It's been so pleasurable for me know that not only is someone reading my list, but that my girlfriends are sharing my happiness. I can feel the energy of their happiness commanding even more things to be grateful for to come my way and I feel my heart opening up to accept it.

I tell this story to illustrate that creating community doesn't have to be a huge time or resource demanding thing. It's just requires the commitment to be fully yourself, to share your gifts and happiness, and to literally show up as a voice of encouragement and cheer for others. That's so goddess!

What do you do to create community with your girlfriends? How has (or how hasn't) being part of a goddess circle or other women's-only community, formal or informal, improved your life or the life of your friends? Pretty please, leave a comment! <3

This blog post is the first of a series called, That's So Goddess, which I am contributing to La Dea Vita, "a silk-road of Goddess inter-exchange of love, support, sisterhood, ideas, products, art, lifework & passion" organized by revolutionary women's athletic wear designer, Mishel Herrera.

This week as best I remember it: March 24- March 30

This week I began reading Mama Gena's School of the Womanly Arts. This week was awesome! I'm not saying it might not have been awesome otherwise, but I'm pretty sure joining the Pleasure Revolution didn't hurt. I love you Mama Gena!

Saturday, March 24
Today was all about naps for me and Lucy. It was also about staying hydrated.

 

Sunday, March 25
This morning I went to The Secret City's monthly service alone, which means I didn't have to arm wrestle anyone to get a seat. The Secret City is sort of a church for artists and art lovers, and judging from the crowds and their well-deserved Obie, the secret is out.

One of the presenters was artist Kai Margarida-Ramirez de Arellano. I want to be her best friend! Kai uses a Mexican traditional art form called papel picado, which is delicate and intricate cut out paper, but with a bad ass subversive twist. Some of her subjects include flaccid penises, her romantically entangled grandfather and his wife's brother, and her mom's extracted tooth.

Later in the day, I went to my La Dea Vita Goddess Gathering. We talked about how to stop and observe and listen to our feelings. Our emotions and are bodies are really trying to communicate with us and share information that can help us be happier and healthier. My throat has been bothering me for nearly two weeks. It feels like something small and lumpy is trapped in the right side. I was surprised to learn that the throat chakra is related to communication, courage and creative connection. That really put a fire under my ass to make sure I started blogging again!

Monday. March 26
I attended my friend Chiquita's Oshun Returns Session, a Goddess Circle that provides a safe space for Black women to share and support one another. I went because I love Chiquita and I didn't have anything else to do, but I was floored by how healing the experience was. I didn't realize how much cultural baggage I had until I was able to release it all. Thanks Goddess Chiquita!

Tuesday, March 27
I went to the 2nd to last session of my Brand New Beginners Yoga Workshop at OM. Thanks to Natalie, I am this close to perfecting downward dog! I know it's not a very yogi thing to say but I really wanna get it right.

After class, I bought myself these flowers because I am a goddess and what's a goddess without flowers!

Wednesday, March 28
Okay, it's official: I now hate cleaning apartments. The first three hours are fine, but once you've been at it for a while you are just hungry and tired and wanna start strangling dust bunnies. I had two appointments today. Oi! The good thing about cleaning is I get to listen to lots of good educational and empowering stuff. I am loving me some WISH Summit right now. You usually have to pay lots of money to hear these amazing women  speak, but it's free for everyone to download all of the summit interviews. Thank you Tera!

I also went to a really special secret dinner with lots of girlfriends. It was so awesome to have hugs and healthy food waiting for me at the end of a long workday.

Quinoa with corn, black beans, and cilantro. Brussels sprouts. Peas and pea shoots. Mmm...

I shared the photo of my flowers on Facebook and asked my girlfriends to comment on how they were going to celebrate their goddesshood. Inspired by their posts, I had planned to take a long bath and rub myself down with hot coconut oil, but I got home later than I expected. Rather than being discouraged, I took a short hot shower, shaved, and massaged myself with Aveda body oil.  Further inspired, I changed my sheets. I usually do this in the morning because at night I'm tired and I don't want to have to make my bed an "extra" time. Woo! Glad I invested the extra few minutes on myself. Getting into bed sweat-free and with freshly shaved legs and clean sheets is my favorite!!!! I fell asleep fast and slept like a happy log!

Thursday, March 29
Oh, the infinite awesomeness of chasing your pleasure. The fun continues!

This morning, I was tired so I slept in, then I stayed in bed even longer with my boyfriend. *Wink, wink* (O yeah, with an emphasis on the O!) I decided that instead of rushing to work and foregoing breakfast, I'd tell my fabulous client that I was running late, and actually tell the truth instead of lying and saying I wasn't feeling well (which always makes me feel terrible) . She totally understood. Once I got there, we agreed that it might be better to just reschedule for after the weekend. (Her apartment was pretty clean since most of the family had been out of town since our last appointment.) So I got to spend some more quality time with myself and with Richard, who is having a light work week. Yay!

In the evening, I trekked to Bed-Stuy for an Intro to Kundalini Yoga class led by my friend Melissa Danielle. I'm not going to lie, it was very weird: lots of abrupt breathing and holding my arms over my head. Still, I'm glad I went. It's always a treat to see Melissa and have her share her knowledge.

Melissa, in traditional Kundalini garb, and my adorable classmates.

This amazing historic building that the yoga class was held in is also used a location for Boardwalk Empire.

I got home hungry and found Richard at home hungry too. Richard suggested La Pequena on Vanderbilt. I hate La Pequena because they always screw up my order, no matter what I order!?!!!! I don't even understand how this is possible, but it's true. I was tempted to just agree to go but since my day was going so well already, I figured what harm could it do to just see if some more magic could happen. I said, "We could go there. Or we could go to Chuko, if you want." Somehow "Yes" popped out of his mouth. I was so happy. (I love love love Chuko but we've only gone twice together since Richard isn't a huge fan.) We both were happy. It was such a delicious, romantic, and fun dinner for both of us!

Friday, March 30
I slept in again then I woke up and went to Milk Bar Brooklyn with Richard for breakfast. Since the breakfast menu is pretty cheesy and eggs, and I'm not a cheese and eggs kinda girl, I usually just drink coffee and eat some toasted bread with avocado. *Whoopie. Not!*

Today, I just said "fuck it" and ordered the veggie chili even though it was 10:41am when my bowl arrived. OMG it was so good! It had eggplant in it?! I know!!!! Weird, but delicious!

We then went to Glass Shop and discovered there are still places in Prospect Heights that you can get and outlet and a seat. Wow! Also the most chipper and friendly barista was working there. I wish I had gotten a picture of her. She was glowing!

After a few hours there, we went next door to PeteZaaz. One the way there, we saw this guy:

Small world story: PeteZaaz is owned by one of my clients' roommate so I didn't feel weird asking him questions, not that he is shy at all. He told me the place is made with savaged stuff, like wood from his friend's deck, vintage pinball games, and old Brooklyn family photos. It's gorgeous, both cavern-like and clean feeling- which is a hard thing to pull off.

The backyard will become a beer garden with movie nights in the summer!

Pussy Power to all Post Pleasure Procrastinators!

I haven't written in this diary consistently in 5 years. Ouch! My ego just wants to hide in a cave and snack nervously on Triscuits until anyone who ever knew I had interest in writing and drawing dies. It's embarrassing to not be doing what I love, what makes me feel like a happy human being. Kinda like how it's embarrassing to have guests come over to find your bathroom looking like a hairy hobo troll had been partying in it with his forest friends. Both are shaming not because the conditions affects other people, but because it makes it clear that you aren't taking care of yourself in the most basic ways.

If I ever want to start having fun again I've got to come out of my cave and actually have fun. At the risk of coming across as having an inflated sense of self-importance, I shall compare my comeback to that of Paul Rueben in 2009 with the Broadway stage production of Pee-Wee Herman. Sure, I've rubbed myself (and perhaps some other people) the wrong way by neglecting my writing and artistic career, but dammitt, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up!

Two weeks ago, I gave my lovely cleaning clients and myself one month notice. In the meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how this writing and doodling thing can translate into my bills being paid and adventures presenting themselves to me. So far, it seems the best I can do is just write, doodle, and love myself enough to allow all the awesome experiences I deserve.

I've also got to trust. I am landing in a pool of pussy powered forgiveness. I've been filling up the pool for a few months: Ms.Mindbody, Kripalu R&R retreat, JourneyDance, Qoya, Goddess Leonie's online Goddess Circle, La Dea Vita: a month-long real life Goddess Gathering, the WISH Summit, Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts...  Tomorrow, I'm attending a one day retreat: Modern Femme: Creating Sensuous Prosperity. I'm looking forward to an essay writing and marketing online course beginning on Monday. Also starting Monday is the Creative Goddess e-course, Goddess Leonie's most popular course. Ahhhhh! So much juicy goodness only leaves room for more awesomeness!

I hope that you will trust me too. I am promising to share all the awesomeness with you here everyday because it's fun for me to share and because maybe you're interested or maybe you're just really polite and have some extra time on your hands. Both work for me! (I promise most of the posts won't be this long!)

Please leave a comment so I know you've read this, even if it's just "hi" or "thanks.". Please also leave any comments about your experience with forgiveness, pleasure, procrastination, and pussy power. <3

Today: My Kitchen Utensils Get Some TLC

Noooooooo!!!!!!!

Yes!

Oh, yes!

My boyfriend jokes that our kitchen drawer was like the "NO" picture in some infomercial advertising a better way to store your cooking utensils. We had two "organizers", but they were big and had amorphous shapes that did nothing to inspire us to relegate certain utensils to specific spots. Instead, everything was sort of swimming about haphazardly. As a result, we had to dig through the entire drawer to find the measuring spoon, vegetable peeler, or any tool we desired,. Another annoying thing is, more often than not, it was a hassle to get the drawer to open or close.

Determined to correct this, I set out to find something huge to toss all my larger utensils in. At Fishs Eddy, I found this really cute Brooklyn Crock. Fortunately, an exceptionally helpful salesperson intercepted when I told her what I would be using the crock for. She suggested I use wide mouthed Ball jars of various sizes. This would help me better organize the utensils by size and possibly even by color and material (steel, black plastic, wood). I was so grateful for her help because 3 jars were a faction of the price of the crock and seemed to be the perfect way to avoid bringing the chaos that existed in the drawer up to my counter.

I ended up needing only two of the jars (pint and quart sized) because I had so many other suitable containers at home: A large vintage green glass vase and a smaller vintage purple vase (both from Salvation Army), three adorable Moroccan themed glasses from a dollar store in Queens, and two cup sized Ball jars. All this stuff has been just hanging around my various apartments for years awaiting their destiny beyond holding the occasional flower or breakfast juice. I now feel like I could stare at my counter forever. Everything on it is beautiful and orderly. It feels almost just as good to open my utensil drawer and look my knives and backup cutlery who, if they could speak, would surely say how happy they are to have some breathing room.

I can't clean or organize without it being a party so I let Pandora play DJ. I heard Erykah Badu's The Healer for the first time. She is so fantastic! Watch this video to hear the song performed live, and to see her fantastic afro! I need to find that wig!!!!!

Crow Hill Community Association Mural Project

This weekend, I participated in a mural project organized by the Crow Hill Community Association. I was one of over 30 community artists chosen to paint a panel on an 8 foot high board that had been bordering a vacant lot on Franklin Ave and Eastern Parkway for a couple years. The project was a superblast for my self-esteem as both an artist and as a community member. I am grateful to have been part of this.

Me, at my mural.

 I will post more photos of the project soon. Lots of folks were taking photos, so it's just a matter of time before they are shared.